I mentioned in a previous blog when you and your partner have strong reactions to a particular point of view or action to try to work on the NOT YELLING, NOT CURSING, NOT ENGAGING IN BEHAVIOR which is unbecoming, which, ultimately, is not helpful to improve your relationship and, quite frankly, generally escalates the situation in a negative fashion.
It's easy to write these words, but not so easy to step-back in the heat of the moment. We are so interested in being RIGHT that its engagement occurs at a great cost to the relationship. Try to see your partner's point of view and verbalize that, even if you disagree vehemently. Be aware of the VOLUME of your voice and your body language, i.e. furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips and "steam" emanating from your aural anatomy. NO finger-pointing, e.g., you ALWAYS ..., you CONTINUE TO..., you NEVER ... If you each had to put a $50.00 bill in a jar each time a fight escalated, you might think twice from taking that route.
Keep in mind that your partner wants to resolve this issue as much as you do, and it doesn't serve any purpose to yell, finger-point, scream and snarl just because your or your partner wants to PROVE how correct you or she or he believes you, individually, are. The goal is to reconcile and reinforce the love and warmth and all the other reasons that brought the two of you together in the first place.
See: Learning to Listen (January, 2017)
It's easy to write these words, but not so easy to step-back in the heat of the moment. We are so interested in being RIGHT that its engagement occurs at a great cost to the relationship. Try to see your partner's point of view and verbalize that, even if you disagree vehemently. Be aware of the VOLUME of your voice and your body language, i.e. furrowed eyebrows, pursed lips and "steam" emanating from your aural anatomy. NO finger-pointing, e.g., you ALWAYS ..., you CONTINUE TO..., you NEVER ... If you each had to put a $50.00 bill in a jar each time a fight escalated, you might think twice from taking that route.
Keep in mind that your partner wants to resolve this issue as much as you do, and it doesn't serve any purpose to yell, finger-point, scream and snarl just because your or your partner wants to PROVE how correct you or she or he believes you, individually, are. The goal is to reconcile and reinforce the love and warmth and all the other reasons that brought the two of you together in the first place.
See: Learning to Listen (January, 2017)
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