I do frequent some Health Food Stores for remedies.  Two treatments I discovered recently was Ignatia Amara and Muriaticum Acidum, which basically calms the adrenal glands and lessens anxiety-triggering stress hormones.  Some of the folks who work at these establishments are extremely knowledgeable and can impart a great deal of information,  I did overhear that the two mentioned above deepen sleep; although, I asked about helping with sleeplessness, but didn't get a very clear response.  

A treatment that I found to be very effective is Magnesium Oil, massaging just a few drops into 1 T. of coconut oil and giving yourself or a sufferer a foot massage.  Very relaxing and calming.

This information comes from the Center for Holistic & Integrative Medicine (Atlanta, GA).

Not wanting to get out of bed...despite being able to report to work on a daily basis (having very little energy, difficulty concentrating on your job)..  Not wanting to socialize with friends or being able to experience pleasure.  Feeling depleted that nothing good is happening in your life or to you.  These are just a small sampling of symptoms of depression.  And, there are many more.

There are a number of psychotherapeutic medications (psychopharmacology) and modalities (psychotherapy) and recently introduced is TMS or, Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation, offered by a few practitioners.  Although first introduced in the mid-80's, it became more popular as more physicians became skilled in its administration.  Not a 1st line of intervention, it is a treatment alternative to discuss with your
physician, especially when depression has lasted a very long time.

There are different types of TMS and different intensities.  This is NOT electro-shock therapy.  TMS introduces tiny electric-magnetic impulses with in turn targets parts of the brain that are related to your emotions and pleasure.

NOTE:  This is not an endorsement of TMS therapy, just a catalyst for you to initiate further discussion with your health care professional.

I wish you all a Happy and Healthy New Year!

What is it that you wish to accomplish in life?  Personally, I believe that there is no greater accomplishment than being a great parent...even a very good parent.  Some parents learn as they go along.  Some parents raise their children as they were raised, or completely opposite from how they were raised.  And, some parents co-parent with their partner or spouse, by putting their heads together, discussing as they go along and by sharing their thoughts and beliefs. Sometimes even a yelling match could occur and the one who screams the loudest wins.  That never works! Other times, there may be door or two slamming and hurt feelings by words and statements uttered. 

It's a tough road ~ parenting is.  And, those many steps:  they're all components of the short-term goal.  Through the many ups & downs.  The funny times and the scary ones.  The exhausting days and the fatigue. 

But there is light at the end of the tunnel.  And, that's the Long-Term Goal --- the Mastery of parenting, building and sustaining a relationship with your child throughout their lives and yours.  

And, if you are childless?  Short-term:  Do your best each day, Do as you promise.  Learn by doing and teach others.  The Long Term Goal:  Review short-term goals.  Be the very best you can be, and be a kind, compassionate and decent person.

Research shows that positive thinking and visualization (guided imagery and/or positive mental images) have a "positive" effect on all types of illness and disease.

For example, when we perceive our health in a positive way; we are more optimistic about our health, compared to patients who went into surgery with a negative attitude.  When patients describe their health as poor, they are almost 3x's more likely to die of any cause.  (Reference:  Daniel. Mark, M.D., Duke University School of Medicine)

Our brain registers optimism in a positive way and adjusts the chemical and neural pathways that affect cellular function throughout our body.  Visualization (creating positive mental images) can boost our immune system and cancer patients who have practiced guided imagery for eight weeks [Journal of Personal Social Psychology, 1998; Vol.74, pp. 1646-1655] increased the count of Cancer-fighting cells which reject tumors.  With regards to cancer, however, to have lasting positive results, individuals need to practice this technique for the long-term to have positive results.  [Journal of Psychosom. Res, 2002, Vol.53, pp. 1131-1137]

*Patients studied were at the Oregon Health & Science University in Portland, OR.

You know what I mean.  You greet someone for the 1st time, and they smile courteously, politely, but not especially sincere.  What's the point?  It shows lack of interest or even distraction.  But something you might be surprised to hear is that when you are feeling "down," "low," or, otherwise, not yourself, I would recommend that you force a smile.  "But I don't feel like smiling," you might say. 

​BECAUSE, when you do, you are releasing feel-good chemicals.  Your heart rate will lessen and very likely, you will feel better.  If you don't want to force it, think about something that gives you thoughts of gratification.  Studies have indicated that doing this on an ongoing basis will make you feel calmer and more upbeat.

Robb Elementary School is a small school, only approximately 475 students, Kindergarten to 4th Grade.  Why it was chosen to be the site of a heart-breaking, cold-blooded massacre of 19 innocent and brave children and 2 heroic teachers is beyond my wildest comprehension and understanding.  I am sickened by the senseless loss of life of these children and their teachers for what purpose.  A mentally-ill young man, age 18, was able to purchase an automatic rifle, an assault rifle designed for military use.  These guns should NOT be sold to the general public. I really don't care to hear about our Constitutional Right to bear arms.  When our forefathers wrote those words, they used muskets, gunpowder and lead balls.  Some of them took 30 minutes or longer to load.  An AR-5 and AR 15, etc , family of AR rifles were not intended for the lay public, as stated specifically by the inventor of these automatic rifles, Eugene Stoner.  

I am angry!  Very angry at these gun manufacturers.

I have in previous blogs wrote of forgiveness, and this is an area that I discuss with my clients, friends and others.  I chose the themes of my blogs several weeks in advance. The theme of forgiveness was selected before the recent senseless shootings at a Taiwanese Presbyterian church in southern California, at a Buffalo grocery store filled with elderly black people and before the most recent horrific school shooting in Uvalde, Texas that took the lives of 19 children and 2 incredibly brave and heroic teachers. I considered changing the theme of forgiveness for this month but then realized that it is the perfect theme for June.   Like many of us I have spent several weeks in tears around these different events and my heart goes out to all of those who have been impacted by these unimaginable acts. Like all of us who have expressed feelings about these recent events, I struggle to find the words. But I will try.  After we grieve, we will recover from this. We are resilient and eventually life will begin to make sense again. If you are feeling like there is nothing you can do to help, consider how you can share love in your everyday life. Smile at a stranger, share a kind word, help a neighbor or volunteer in your community.  Spread love.  Hug your family and friends, tell them you love them, appreciate them deeply. All of these events are reminders that life can be taken away in an instant. As incredibly difficult and heart-wrenching as these major events are, we must remember that we will heal. Hope will return against all odds because love is bigger than any horror or hate the world can throw at us.

In November (2021), I wrote a post on Loss/Sadness (titled, "Heartbreak"), and I re-read it today because, I suffered a loss and I'm feeling heartbroken.  It was helpful for me to experience the words on the page. 

I lost my little 17 y.o. mini long-haired dachshund last month, and I miss her terribly.  I know that this might spark some controversy, but I feel as though I lost my child.  I've had a number of dogs and cats in the past, but this dog, in particular, didn't think of herself as a dog.  In fact, close friends who knew her well, stated that she, herself, didn't think of herself as a dog.  She acted more like a "little human.,"

It's almost a month now, and everyday, a tear or two rolls down my cheeks multiple times/day, involuntarily.  All of my FB friends posted their understanding of what a huge loss this was for me, and they have all expressed their condolences, but do they really know the attachment, the intense love I had for that dog?

Our pets do not live long enough, and it is an extremely difficult decision to euthanize them at the end stage of their life.  Questions remain:  was it the right thing to do; was it the right time for it to be done; did she suffer (she was crying during the process);  could anything more be done to provide her life;  would any of these tests/procedures actually prolong suffering?

As you can see by my Archive List, I took the month of January off from writing a Post.  Truthfully, I was too distraught.  I don't know if everyone understands the level of grief; after all, they're just an animal (sic).  

But they're so much more.  She was so much more.  She was my one-in-a-million "dogter."

​RIP, "Gitta."

It's such a conundrum...forgiveness is.   My personal thought is that, in most cases, it is actually more beneficial for ourselves than for the person we are forgiving.

Are there acts or behavior that are unforgiveable?  Before you answer that, think of an inappropriate act that might be committed against your child by a family member, friend or stranger.  You don't always have to forgive someone.

IMO, if the trust is broken (trust being the key word here), it would be very difficult, if not impossible to have a relationship with that person again.  At the very least, the broken trust will always be a factor when dealing with the individual.

Can you forgive without condoning what happened?  If you can, if you can really be honest with yourself, you can make a choice to forgive.

One thing I know for sure.  Holding onto the negative thoughts, the anger, the emotions that you can't let go can be more detrimental, not only with that relationship, but other relationships, as well.  Talk to a professional if these overwhelming thoughts and feelings take over your life and ability to be happy, joyful and satisfied.
​Note:  see 4/6/21 "Forgiveness" entry.

Can you heal a broken heart?  I read the lyrics of The Bee Gees song, " How Can you Mend a Broken Heart?" and some of the lyrics indicate that there are situations, instances when you just can't mend your broken heart.   Whether it's a loss of a loved one or the end of a relationship, I believe that you can, but it take a lot of work and time.  It is important to know the things that bring you joy.  And schedule those in.  It doesn't mean that you won't feel surges of sadness.  It's important to give yourself what you feel like you need.   

What if it was your friend who was experiencing trauma of loss?  You might ask what you could do, and that is what you must ask yourself.

All of us have different ways of experiencing situational sadness.
Take it slowly.  Take it easy.  Practice serious self-care.  Be kind to yourself.  And, open your heart to love...