Believe it or not, our brains take cues from the little actions we do prior to going to sleep.  For example, brushing your teeth, selecting your p.j.'s, taking out the clothing you wish to wear for the next day - all give a signal to your brain that you are preparing for sleep.

It might be a good idea to have a sleep diary.  There are those who say that they need to have 10 hours of sleep to feel refreshed, and there are others who say that 8 hours works for them.  These requirements depend upon the person.  The takeaway from this is just because someone states they get 8 hrs. every night, doesn't mean that is the length of time that you need.  I can write more about this, but in the meantime, a consideration to have is do you believe that you receive enough sleep each night?

I've written about happiness a number of times now, and what I know to be crucial is "self-compassion."  Accepting who we are and realizing the road that we have traveled has gotten us to this point.  Even if that road had some rocky detours.

How do you take care of yourself?  Remember when Al Franken on SNL, as Stuart Smalley, would talk to himself in a mirror and utter this "Daily" affirmation, "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and doggone it, people like me."  Ok, that was a Comedy segment.  But there is something to be said for sustaining and reinforcing personal acceptance.   Demonstrating self-compassion to yourself balances out the self-criticism that keeps us from unlocking our treasure chest of happiness. Be gentle with yourself.  After all, you know how to be compassionate to others; just choose to bestow it upon yourself.

We have had one day after another without sun.

I don't know about you, but if you want to know how I am, just look out the window.  If it's Sunny, I'm fine.
If it's dreary, cold, grey, rainy, then, I just feel gloomy.  It is not unusual for most of us to qualify to be "depressed" in that situation.

Spring cannot come soon enough for me.  And, I don't know if you feel the same way.
But, let me ask you this?  Have you heard of Seasonal Affective Disorder (or S.A.D.) 
We have a propensity for dialing-down when there is an inadequate amount of light.  

Walk into a "dark house" (blinds shut, lack of windows, front doors closed) and I think that you will agree that you feel uplifted when the house is brighter.  But when it is dark, we look to see what we can do to make the house brighter (lift shades, open blinds and doors).  We don't paint our walls Black.  We don't board up our windows.  Because in addition to Winter's shorter days, we seek to add L.E.D. lights to our lamps and overhead lights.  And, it is my opinion that this, alone, will increase our well-being and improve our health.

For the fun of it, determine how many breaths you normally take per minute.  It shall give you a sense of how "hyper" you are.  If you are able to lessen the number of breaths to 9 or 10, you will not only relax, but you shall also lower your blood pressure.  Your parasympathetic component of your nervous system will receive a message that "it's ok" or your "good-to-go" to relax.  

Start the practice now.  Breathe in through your nose for a count of 5-7 and then breathe out, again through your nose for a count of 9-10.  How many times you do this is up to you, but I would recommend at the very least 3x's several x's/day.  If it's particularly stressful, add 1-3 times per day.

​As you can see for yourself, it won't take you very long to do this.  

What is the 1 to 10 all about?  Something to try is all.

When you are feeling anxious, stressed, out-of-sort, e.g., an unpleasant encounter with a co-worker, or a boss, on a piece of paper, indicate a number from one to 10, as to how stressed you feel.  Assigning a number communicates to your brain what kind of stressor it is.  Let's say you had a stressful conversation with a spouse/partner or child, and you don't want to continue it because you might say something you can't take back.  Assign whatever # you believe it is. 

If it's a 7, then you are letting your body know that you have the reserve to relax.  It it's a 10, curl your toes and scrunch your face, hold for 5 seconds and release as you exhale.

Who can resist "noshing" on an evening treat?  Not feeling satiated from dinner?  Did you ever consider that eating too late, and I'm not referring to having an evening restaurant reservation at 8pm; rather those cookies and cake, and yes, even fruit can make you feel lethargic when you lie down.  How would you know, you ask, if you are already in sleep mode?  Well, you may experience heartburn, which makes falling asleep extra challenging.  If you're planning a later in the evening snack, try for under 400 calories, and then perhaps, a 200-calorie nibble to stave off feeling of hunger (yogurt, popcorn, rice cake).  At least, that food intake is not creating havoc with your digestive system.  Sleep well!

You have to remember to do this.  But if you have an issue with someone.  If someone makes you so angry, puts you on edge, or, over the edge, grab a pen (or pencil) and write down exactly what upset you.  Don't spare any words.  Write it as you feel it (the person and the experience).  You know as well as I do that we tend to stuff our emotions deep within us, they only serve to re-surface later, as that pain needs to be acknowledged.  An outcome of this behavior, i.e, is that you feel this anger, and you are able to do something with it.  One more thing:  take that note, that piece of paper and either actually rip it up in tiny pieces or burn it.  You don't need a fireplace to do this, or a BBQ grill.  One simple match will help you release the act of fuming.

Feeling stressed, meditate.  We've heard that many times, but will you actually do it?

20 Minutes/day is all you need.  Suffering with headaches?  Dealing with symptoms of depression?  Try meditation.

​Sit or stay lying in your bed and close your eyes.  Take 100 s-l-o-w breaths and actually count them out loud or to yourself, silently.  Do not think of anything else!  While you are counting, it's difficult for intrusive thoughts to gain entry into your brain.  

If you accomplished 100 breaths, go for another 100.  As you become comfortable with this "practice" (meditative practice), increase your participation in this activity by another 100 until you reach that 20 minutes....Not all at once; work up to it.  

What do bananas, kiwis, plums and pineapple have in common?  Serotonin is a neurochemical that affects mood and you can naturally increase serotonin by eating those fruits.  Tomatoes are also high in serotonin.

And, while we are on the subject, fresh vegetables (carrots, spinach, cucumbers), apples, sour cherries, plums, pineapples, and fresh berries are also associated with better mental health and decreasing symptoms of depression.

Outside of fruits and veggies are fish, whole grains, eggs, healthy fats (e.g., olive oil).

You've heard of how sleepy you might feel after that sumptuous Thanksgiving meal.  Not that turkey is all that you would be consuming that evening, but it's the Tryptophan in that turkey that makes you feel sluggish and tired.  And, about Tryptophan...that boosts serotonin too.

Although I concentrated on foods reducing anxiety and depression, these foods are ALL healthy and a source of protein.  And when it comes down to it, they are lower in calories, keeps you trimmer, and loaded with vitamins, fiber and minerals.

The moral to this:  eat healthfully.  You'll look better, feel better, and be all around...BETTER!

I would be one of the first people who is known to advocate the absence of screens (tv's, laptops, I-pads, etc.) before bed, following complaints of falling to sleep difficulties. However, a recent article that I read in the Journal of Sleep Research, is now indicating that some media use can actually be good for falling asleep, particularly, podcasts, books, or a streaming service which can be a calming activity to induce sleep.  Further studies have indicated that total sleep time have actually increased following this type of passive activity.  One caveat:  I would avoid "thrillers," or, other type of movies which are captivating and whose endings you are looking forward to knowing, particularly if they over one hour in duration.